Thursday, August 21, 2008

Lesson from the Mat - Falling Free


A lesson from practicing yoga: when people fall or fail, they smile. Really. In seven years as a teacher, with very few exceptions the moments of greatest levity and human playfulness in practice follow those in which a difficult pose is suggested and people FAIL to accomplish them.


Forearm stand, scorpion, kundiniasana, astavakrasana, handstand without the wall, bird of paradise, vishvamitrasana, tripod headstand. Calling the names of these positions has the power to furrow brows and harden the breathing of even hearty practitioners. More timid yogins may find an urgent need for the bathroom as excuse to slip from the room and flee their knee-jerk fear response.
Here's the secret I've discovered: in attempting the impossible it is those who try but fail that convey pleasure, humility and even a sense of renewal - a sense of YOGA or union with the moment, themselves and life itself. Those who actually somewhat achieve the shape tend to emerge with fretful expressions perhaps questioning their performance, resisting the natural urge to celebrate, or worrying if they will ever get into the shape again.
That picture above of me frowning in an "okay" version of astavakrasana is a great example of joyless, critical execution, ie. asana performed as an exacting technician, devoid of the experiential fruit of the practice of yoga. In comparing the faces and energetic bearing of those who give these more challenging shapes a try and find themselves humbled by failure to those who actually come close to achieving them, there's no second guessing the instances where grace is present and where grace has been evicted by the critic. Let's face it - if we're moving through what we do totally in our heads, locked in constant analysis, chances are we're not fully present or enjoying it much.

As a lesson from the mat, this suggests that ALLOWING oneself to humbly try the "impossible" and fail (gracefully or not) is the renewing or regenerating act. That you are not done evolving or acquiring new skills allows you to be small and humble in such a way that allows for your greatness to emerge. Be radical. Know you do not and cannot possibly have all the answers. Let yourself off the hook from pretending as much. The permission you give yourself to be a student and not be perfect requires your acceptance that there is growth at hand, and invites you to consider all the wonderful possibilities growth may bring. It reorients us towards the experience of the attempt rather than the evaluation of the outcome.
Where do you need to give yourself a little freedom to fall?

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